Works more often for younger－vodemetriusn的部落格

Yes you can.

Creating a safe and healthy structure for kids to grow up in is one of your most important roles as a parent.

Creating boundaries, setting limits is a normal part of that.
You won't let a three year old wander on the train tracks or use a chainsaw. It sounds absurd, but it is really what you do all the time. You create a safe and healthy place for them to grow up in.
TV and computer time is part of that.

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Many parents have trouble with setting boundaries when kids grow up, become more vocal, offer more "but they can more" examples.
Parents are tired of constant arguing, and often don't know what is good for their kids anymore.
Setting boundaries your kids need to work with is just fine.
You will hear me say this many times: you will fight at the boundaries you set.
They will challenge you, it is what they do, to experiment, to learn.
You can set the boundary right at where you will be triggered to explode, where they wouldn't be safe or healthy when they cross it.
They will challenge you and it will trigger things you don't want.
You can also set boundaries a long way before that. Where crossing the boundary doesn't mean you'll be angry, or they could get hurt or risk their health.
They will challenge you there just as much!

A child will challenge you at the store for candy, at home for pocket money, for tv time, for computer time. And much more.
A teen will challenge clothing restrictions, curfews, (cell) phone use, alcohol, drugs and yes tv and computer time. And much more.

As this article is about TV and computer time: why and how can you set boundaries$%:
Why$%:
Because your kids need to see more than a square box, sitting still and without burning the calories they need to. TV and computer time are also filled with programs, games that are aimed at their wallet, more than their education. They are addictive and reduce the ability to concentrate, focus, as it is all a blast of images, messages.
So setting a limit on that is absolutely ok.

Active models:

Yes, they are in peer groups that watch, play.
So, they will challenge the boundaries you set.
There are always those "but they can more" kids out there, imaginary or not.
It is where your values, your ideas about what is good, right, wrong, healthy, or not, come in.
And they need you to give them those guidelines.
It is how they figure life out, through you, their parents.
And playing with crossing those boundaries, staying within, feeling out what they think fits them.

How you can set boundaries, limits and have fun.

1. Set boundaries pro-actively, explaining why and sticking to the rules consistently, with only exceptional exceptions. When kids know the rules beforehand and why, it is easier to accept them. And they become part of the routine instead of daily battle grounds where everything is up for grabs. Which is exhausting for you and for them. Let them explain why they do want to, listen well. They need to be heard. That is often enough. You don't have to agree with them. Being listened to is huge for kids and teens, whether they show that or not.

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2. Combine setting a boundary with proposing an activity with you (works more often for younger kids)
They will enjoy that activity often more than the extra time on the computer or in front of the TV. Let them tape programs "for tomorrow" if it is so important. They will often forget about those.
Think about what works for them and what you would enjoy too.

3. If they want to play games, watch TV of which you are "not so sure", you can sit with them and discuss what they like about it. If you don't agree with the game or program content, simply explain that without getting angry or defensive. Why you think or feel it is not good for them. And why you set the boundary. Offer to help them find, get access to other programs, games that you are OK with.
Explain that peers often boast, and learn behaviors from those programs and games that are not OK for you and for them. "It is not who we are as a family, how we see being with others."

Kids don't need TVs or computers in their rooms.
Internet safety is hugely improved when you have the computer in a common room, where you can casually look at what they are doing. The same with TV. It improves your awareness of what is on and going on.
And makes it easier to live up to the rule, the boundary you have set.
And when they challenge you$%:
"It is not about me trusting you or not. It is about what people try to do that I sadly don't trust. And it is my job to protect you from them."

And yes, setting limits, creating a safe environment with boundaries like that is more than fine, it is excellent.